#˟ ▀ the gallery
[ The week before. ]
‘Ooh … That one looks pretty …. Will she like those? Is purple too much? Or maybe pink is nicer … Yellow seems too bright … Ah, this one is too expensive, but wouldn’t she really like this …?’
Tabs upon tab are open in the browser on Hyun’s laptop, his torso upright but slouched in his bed as his brows are furrowed in concentration. There are so many options to order, and different colours, sizes, variations, and he doesn’t have much time to look; there’s only so much free time he has now as the comeback looms closer, and his hours are consumed by all the preparations.
But, he knows he can’t see her on her birthday, and it’s always something that he feels guilty for. Even though she does say it’s okay, and that she understands, he still feels bad about it, but that’s unfortunately the nature of his job. He has to miss out on regular special things, be absent when he’d like to be there. He always tries to make it up to the important people in his life though, and they’ve all mostly gotten used to the sacrifices he has to make for his career.
And he’s already planning to make it up to Sua when he next sees her. He’ll definitely make it up to her.
‘Ah … I think I’ll go with this one. And this … I think she’ll like this. I’ll give this when I get to see her.”
[ 2020, August 5th ]
The courier is given permission to head up to the top floor, a bouquet in his arms as he carefully carries it up to the apartment number he’s been given. He double checks the instructions, as well as the date given for the delivery to be made on despite the order being made several days ahead of time, and the card in the middle of the arrangement is adjusted, having slipped on the journey on the road.
Sua,
Just like these flowers, you’re beautiful and elegant – but unlike the flowers, you don’t wilt and are always in bloom. Please always stay in bloom~
Wishing you a happy birthday and good health for another year~
— Hyeric ˟ ▀ &. @rkhyun
her birthday is spent largely running back and forth between the dorm and her apartment, gathering things that she forgot or didn’t have the room for during little runs. it’s more of an exhausting day than it should be, but hopefully now that it’s a little late at night, this will be the last of the runs she’ll have to make before tomorrow.
it’s upon hearing the elevator ding in its familiar fashion that sua looks up to stare at her apartment door across the hall from it. the surprise that she gets is the flowers that are sitting there, without much presentation but clearly meant as a gift. they’re clearly a bouquet, and sua approaches her door in a curious nature, wondering if perhaps it was eric who left them for her or if it was actually someone else.
but no, upon reading the tag so carefully situated in the middle of the bouquet, she knows exactly who they’re from. hyun is not so subtle, and never has been. it was how they were throw into a mess in the first place, after all but at least he has more sense to sign it wholly with his name. still, the fact that he signed it as hyeric? sua can’t help but pull a face and send a text when she gets into the apartment asking who hyeric even is.
the bouquet comes with her to the dorm, though.
she decides to focus on the others instead of her own predicament. that means, getting to spend some time with eunbi after so long - after all, they haven’t had a chance to talk much at all since the prep for her debut began but now that sua is part of the dorm and they have a chance to spend more time together since they’ll be in the same room, she expects that to change.
today is the day of eunbi’s reveal, and she’s certain that the girl is nervous about it. considering what it took her to get here, between the bullying and leaving everyone she cared for in kt - the girl is young, and she’s been through a lot. “ eunbi.” she calls quietly, patting the side of her bed as a way to beckon the younger. “ come sit with me. have you looked at your teasers yet?”
˟ ▀ &.@rkwxnb
coming home tonight isn’t the comfort that it should have been. not when the words kept ringing in her ears all day and still haunt her at this very moment - the girl of the month is … kim sua. they’re words that any of the others would have wanted to hear if it was their own name being called, but at the same time, these are words that she never would have expected to hear herself. they’re also words that sua isn’t really sure she ever wanted to hear.
everyone calls debut a wonderful birthday gift, but sua isn’t quite so sure.
dropping her bags at the door, the first and only person she thinks of calling is hyun. there’s some sort of apology in her heart because while she has a desperate need to call him, to hear whatever it is that he thinks - because she knows she’ll be a little more accepting if it comes from him, if he tells her congratulations and that she should be on this stage. but the apology comes from knowing how tired he’ll be from debut preparations - this is important though. and sua’s absolutely sure he wouldn’t have wanted to hear it from anyone else but her.
with a video call ringing while sua throws herself onto the couch, meimei jumping up to rest next to her - she can’t help but feel the pull of a frown when their call connects and she sees hyun on the other end. what is she supposed to do? what is she supposed to say?
“ .. how was practice?” that’s not it. “ i have some news.” that’s better.
˟ ▀ &.@rkhyun
It’s officially the 5th of September and while the dorm is currently a mess of half packed suitcases and boxes yet to be unpacked, Sua has officially moved in and Yuzu wants to use this to congratulate her for her birthday properly.
Not certain about the elder’s exact preferences in terms of cakes or sweets in general, Yuzu settles for a classic chocolate cake with fancy icing and “congratulations” written in pretty cursive all across the top.
A single candle is lit as soon as the fool sees her opportunity, finding Sua alone in their room in the middle of unpacking.“Happy Birthday~ to you~,” she sings, the tune falling past her lips with ease as she carries the cake towards her carefully. “Congrats again on joinin’ us, eonni. N’ happy birthday to ya!”
she’s just a bundle of mixed feelings. that’s all this is.
sua’s sure that the girls can tell she’s not exactly thrilled about having to move into the dorms on her birthday, and it’s generally an understandable feeling. no one wants to be doing that much work on their birthday; no one wants to spend the time they could be spending with others that they love just to lug a few boxes across the city back and forth. no one wants to leave what they had behind.
thankfully, sua’s sure that this is all they’re guessing that it is. no one knows her well enough in heartz aside from maybe heejin to know what it is she truly thinks.
by the time that night falls and she’s about halfway moved in, sua sits in the middle of the floor, carefully unpacking expensive items that were put into boxes. it’s then that she hears the familiar tune of happy birthday reaching her ears and she looks up, a small frown on her features but it slips away to reveal a more neutral expression when yuzu presents her with a cake.
is this a happy birthday? she doesn’t think so. “ thanks.” sua says carefully, staying mindful that she shouldn’t show a lack of grace - after all, it’s not like it’s yuzu’s fault. “ for the cake, and the wishes. i really appreciate it.”
˟ ▀ &.@yuzurk
rkheejin:
heejin welcomes the arms that reach for her, recuperating the action in full, falling into an achingly familiar warmth she’s not been able to have in a long time. there really isn’t anything for her to say that hasn’t already been said before, or shown through her own actions— nothing sua doesn’t already know because she knows just about everything. heejin is incredibly selective, the type to stay guarded and safe, but with sua, there’s not a single thought she doesn’t wear right on her sleeve for the other to see, and while there are still things about sua that heejin can’t read, heejin doesn’t need to be told outright how the older woman feels for her.
stood securely wrapped in a hug she’ll never grow tired of, heejin knows. now, there’s no need to feel any dread, as if stepping back into the spot she’d had before sua left trc was only temporary, because this wouldn’t be temporary. while sua hadn’t been the deciding factor in wanting to join sphere, it had been one of the biggest pros on her list, and there was no way she’d let this slip between her fingers again now that she was here.
she doesn’t answer right away, taking a second to think. “i’m a little hungry, i think the last time i ate was for lunch, and i’ve only had a snack between then and now,” she nods her head lightly as she speaks, thankful for having remembered to bring a granola bar with her that morning. “i’ll try not to be long, i don’t need to wash my hair or anything— pajamas are still in the same drawer?”
fingers brush through heejin’s hair, keeping her hold on the younger girl gentle. though it’s been awhile since heejin has joined the heartz project and in that, joined sphere, it is the first time that they’ve found the right time to catch up in the form of one of their sleepovers. heejin keeps ahold of sua like she’s searching for comfort and sua is loathe to let her go. not when it seems like heejin needs her in this moment - it’s easy to read the younger girl, at least for her. " is everything okay ..?“ she finally asks, brushing gently through a knot that she’s found in heejin’s hair with her fingers. ” you can talk to me, you know. about anything.“
she pulls away gently from their embrace, her hands falling to heejin’s shoulders and holding onto her just as gently. ” or are you just so happy to be here again that it’s made you emotional?“ her brow lifts quizzically and it’s true that heejin is probably the only person aside from hyun that she’d be this playful with.
stepping away and tapping heejin on the back to coax her towards the bath, she searches for her cell with her free hand in her bag. ” then you’re eating. you can’t keep eating snacks for dinner, heejin.“ sua sighs and shakes her head, her voice sounding like that of a disappointed mother. ” where they always are. when you’re done, you can come to the kitchen, the food should be here by then.“ she pauses. ” and be careful of jin. he’ll probably attack you as soon as he hears you walking around.“
chungha easily adjusts herself so she can wrap herself around sua with an exaggerated content sigh. it was nice to cuddle up to a friend. and sua was easy to reciprocate the sentiment. she blows a raspberry, looking up at the other. there was something about the way she said that she was “okay” that chungha just didn’t feel convinced with. but maybe she was just frustrated as chungha had been about two months ago.
she’d like to think that if it was anything serious then sua would divulge it. maybe it was wishful thinking on her end. but there was no way to know that for sure.
“do i?” chungha repeats back. she wasn’t anticipating her question being returned. logically she should have. yet she finds herself unprepared. “honestly?” chungha starts, eyebrows furrowing as she thinks. “i don’t think so. i don’t think i’m prepared to have to do this until the very end.” in fact, after this month she’s sure she has nothing left to show them. show improvement? she’s already doing that. show new talents? done. show what she can do? that’s also done every single month. there was nothing fresh from chungha from the end of august onward. the pit in her stomach reminds her she’s a little more worried than she lets off.
“i don’t think it’s stupid,” chungha says with a frown. what sua was doing was a thankless job. it was one that no one asked for but it was one that everyone is thankful for. “i find it very….noble. selfless.” but she didn’t want sua thinking that was the only thing she was good for. she had a lot more to offer to the heartz collective than she realised.
maybe those were the qualities that makes a leader. chungha wouldn’t know. she didn’t want to be the leader of the group. that idea was packed up a long time ago. she feels like she’s better off not having all of the “responsibility” put on her. lord knows she doesn’t have the decorum for a position like that. but it seems like that sua does.
chungha chuckles, shaking her head softly as sua tucked a hair behind her ear. she scrunches her nose. “you’re so silly. of course i’m not worried about anything like that.” that sounded a bit cocky but she meant it earnestly. she elabourates to avoid any confusion. “i didn’t mean it as in you’re going to do something to undermine us all. if i’m being honest this doesn’t really feel as cut throat as i’ve experienced in other companies. i feel like sphere girls are more compassionate than that.” and that included sua. chungha didn’t mean to imply that sua would do anything dirtyto ensure being signed to heartz. besides, would it really be playing dirty if she was simply showing what she could do?
chungha sighed. “i think a lot of us are just tired.” she wouldn’t be surprised. “only the newer girls are still so pumped about everything. i know i don’t have the same energy levels now as i did a while ago.”
it’s clear that chungha doesn’t believe her at all, but this is also not something that sua would get into in the middle of sphere - let alone in the middle of a room full of the other heartz girls who would inevitably hear their conversation. as much as sua hates sphere, she’s not into the idea of social or career suicide and admitting that she loathes being in the project at all would probably be candidacy for both. either way, it’s nothing that chungha needs to worry about - there are her own worries.
after all, it’s obvious that chungha actually wants this. she doesn’t need to sit and listen to sua’s bitching about what a shit show she thinks this entire charade of a debut really is.
though she’s sure that chungha hadn’t expected her to turn her question back on her, especially without answering - sua also didn’t expect the loss for words coming from the other woman. chungha always seemed so sure of herself, so the lack of confidence thereof was a little alarming. is this the effect of predebut on her? or is this just what chungha really feels all the time? if it’s the latter, chungha does a really good job of hiding it but if it’s the former, sua truly wouldn’t be surprised. it’s hard not to notice the worry and the fatigue that draws the faces of the other girls. sometimes, she wonders if she looks like that, too.
“ i don’t think the point is to show something new every month.” sua says finally, brushing her fingers through chungha’s long hair. " i think it’s rather that they want you to show them you’ll suit the concept of the next solo. i think they already know we’re all talented. that’s probably why we’re here in the first place.“ she pauses, thinking - questioning. ” i’m not really sure if it’s the best way to pick a group, but when they’re giving us the same kind of requirements month after month it’s hard to show them something new all the time aside from what you can show them visually. wouldn’t you agree?“
sua sighs, though. at this, they’ll probably have to agree to disagree - regardless of what chungha says, sua knows that what she’s doing in the long run is stupid. after all, even if she gives up the most for the rest of the trainees, it’s likely that sphere will never put her in the lineup. she’s too much of a troublemaker. they already hate her.
chungha likely doesn’t know the extent of it, though. it’s not like sua ever talked about it to anyone.
eyes narrowing slightly, sua can’t help but crinkle her nose at chungha’s amusement. it’s the truth - she meant every word she said. and as much as chungha may not think so, it’s likely that there are other girls out there who may believe she will. ” you don’t have to worry about it from me. i wouldn’t say there aren’t girls like that among us, though.“ sua says finally, setting her jaw at the thought of the girls who bullied eunbi to the point of tears, stress, exhaustion. ” even if you’re not suspicious of me, i still wanted to make sure you knew.“
after all, there’s still a possibility that she’d give up her spot in heartz if it meant that someone better could take her place. sua’s still not sure what she wants yet.
rkvok:
In a way, it’s a little sadto be separated from the HEARTZ girls like they were. Of course, Moonbok enjoyed the company of the other male trainees, who were his good friends by now. But he missedhanging out with the girls as well, annoying Yuzu with yet another song he’d written, but welcoming any feedback she had. Messing around with Minhee and enjoying her company despiteher relentless teasing of him.
And of course, he missed being around Eunji, just being able to talk to her and share secret smiles.
(But then again, he’d distanced himself from his girlfriend the moment he’d stepped into Sphere, for bothof their sakes.)As much as he’s a social butterfly, Moonbok eschews sitting with the other guys for once to have lunch alone today, with only his thoughts as company. He has to admit, he’s also missedbeing able to simply seat in peace with just his lunch and a textbook for companions. It’s almost like a form of mindfulness, an escape from the hectic
(but thrilling)circus that his life has become.However, he only has a few moments alone when a quiet question disturbs his reading. Looking up with a soft hum and slightly wide eyes, Moonbok’s expression eases into a smile as he looks at Sua and he hastily yanks the refill pads and other assorted stationary out of her way and into his backpack.
“Of course, Sua sunbaenim! Sorry for the mess…”
Moonbok won’t claim to knowhow Sua feels, but just by looking at her face, he can tellshe’s utterly exhausted. And why wouldn’tshe be, between the rumors that had been floating around at the start of the year and from the bits of information he’d gleaned about the HEARTZ project, the older girl had every rightto be tired. Not that he intends to bring any of that up, unless she does first. Marking his page, just in case Sua wasn’t in the mood for small talk, Moonbok smiles gentles even more.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How are you, sunbaenim?”
it’s been a long time since she’s gotten to interact with the other trainees outside of the heartz project. truthfully, she figured it best for both her sake and theirs that she avoided them, and for awhile she even avoided most of the girls, too. it was hard to look at any of them in the eye, especially with the whispers and the way some of the trainees would talk like they wanted to bring her down to boost themselves up. she was aware of all of it, and didn’t want to cause harm to the people that she actually .. somewhat enjoyed talking to. that was until the heartz project was announced of course, and sua was forced into a situation that she didn’t want to be in in the first place. separated from the guys and being thrust into a warzone didn’t sit well with her either.
moonbok is, at the very least, safe. he doesn’t talk too much like daniel does to fill all the spaces because he’s nervous to leave it quiet and he’s not hyun. that much is for certain. moonbok is safe because he’s easy to endure when she just wants some peace and quiet rather than the rambunctious lunches she’s prone to when she eats with the girls of heartz.
“ thanks.” the word is said simply without much flourish, her eyes watching as he quickly pulls his papers and everything else he had scattered on the tabletop to his bag. " are you sure you didn’t want to eat lunch alone, though?“ sua asks blandly as she sets her tray down with a gentle tap against the table, following suit as she rests gracefully in the chair in front of him. ” you don’t have to apologize. after all, it looks like i was the one interrupting.“
her eyes fall to the food in front of her as she casually tucks back her hair, intent on a quiet lunch that hopefully won’t end in screeching. ” i just have a headache today.“ sua replies, picking up her chopsticks. ” how about you? it has been a long time.“
⊰ ◝ @rksuas⊱
he’s the happiest he’s been in a long time, even if there is still some lurking fear. he has mina here with him in sphere, an unshakable rock he knows he’ll never truly be better (for better or worse, he would say, but no, it’s certainly better.) there will be no more evaluations with her, but they can still go to and from training together, and they can still eat together; there’s still plenty of good in it all, so he’s still thankful.
part of him almost feels guilty for being happy– happy without a boyfriend that enlisted, happy without a band that meant everything to him, happy without the parents that raised him even in all of their scorn, even if they would all want this happiness for him more than he wants it for himself. he tries to remind himself of this. shaking off the constant guilt he feels no matter what is still a process, a habit formed long ago it will take longer to break.
still, though, he’s happy. he wants to spread that happiness where he can, now that he has the strength to turn himself outward again instead of closing in on himself like he has for the past…year? (it’s really been a year since the mgas, and since the end of his world as he knew it. finally, finally, he has rebuilt again, even if there will always be a little lingering heartbreak– the same feeling that comes with a first love, he thinks, because empty enigma was something like that to him.)
he doesn’t know if he’s ever seen sua smile, and he knows this year must’ve been hard for her, with her scandal and getting thrown into heartz. he doesn’t know if she needs cheering up, or if he would even be capable of it if she did, but they’re friends, and he hasn’t seen her in too long thanks to that very project. he doubts she misses him; maybe he’s just a nuisance to her, but the chance to bring her a little happiness might just be worth the risk of annoying her. besides, he knows she’ll be honest about it if he is. it’s something he can always count on sua for, and part of the reason he likes her.
“sua noona!” he calls to her when he sees her shortly after training has ended. he has a song stuck in his head that he wants to write down– maybe even record a little of before he goes home. seeing her is a nice detour, though. “i haven’t seen you in a long time.” he pauses in front of her. “my dancing has improved a lot since then,” and actually, he’s been wanting to show her. was she in the audience at the summer party? he doesn’t remember seeing her, but that doesn’t mean much.
her words have rung in his head since she said them to him: you still dance like you’re afraid of it. he remembered them every time he watched himself dance in a mirror and picked the movements apart– wrestled with them just as he wrestled with whether he really wanted to be here or not. ultimately, they helped him get better, as he suspects sua intended. he dances with more power now– with more determination and confidence, even though he knows he still lacks plenty. “do you have time for me to show you?”
her life has changed so drastically in the past eight months alone and sua is still feeling the weight of it. the weight of expectations, not only from herself but from hyun, from the company, from the girls that look up to her, and from the coaches that want so many things from the heartz potentials. it’s a pressure that sometimes sua finds hard to deal with when originally after the scandal broke, all she wanted to do was destroy herself and bring the world down with her. it’s something that she still struggles with today, even though things have gotten a lot more quiet now. partially due to the fact that she and hyun had to pretend to break up, but mostly because of the fact that she was shoved into a project that she didn’t even fucking want to be in.
sometimes, she’s just plagued by thinking. about how staying at sphere led her to a war that even hyun couldn’t have predicted, even though he asked her to stay with only the best of intentions. sometimes she’s bitter, sometimes she wants to call him and curse him and ask him why he asked this of her. especially when she had to sit and witness the cruelty of girls who like to pick on someone weaker, bringing her back to days that she’d much rather forget. days that he doesn’t know about, and that she’d never mention on her own.
walking through the halls on days where all she can do is think too much ends up a little harder. sua has to do her best to look like she’s trying her hardest, not doing anything wrong, aiming for the top, being the best. it’s the only way that the coaches leave her alone these days, even if all she wants is to be free from them. the fact that she feels like she’ll never be free, especially now that she feels an obligation to the girls that have joined the heartz project … it’s a lot more exhausting than she’d like to admit. it’s definitely more exhausting than the expression she shows to the world.
but they haven’t broken her yet. as much as they’ve tried, as much as they expected to quell her fire, they’ve only managed to make her burn more brightly with their gasoline words they used to hurt her. what they don’t know is that sua has been through all of this before, and been through far worse. the only difference is that this time, she’s a lot stronger than she was before.
sometimes, she wonders if anyone else can see it. then, sua remembers that daniel exists.
out of everyone in sphere, she thinks that daniel would have been the least likely to recognize the depths of her sadness, how much she dwells on her pain. after all, from the moment that she met him, she thought that he was a little on the clueless side, too easily stressed out and stretched thin to even focus on anyone else but himself. the fact that he saw her through her though, and saw the full extent of her anger and her betrayal and her hurt - it’s something that she’s avoided him for. after all, it’s a pain that she hasn’t even been able to show hyun yet; the ripping of her hair, the screaming and the clawing fingers that feel like knives at her skin.
but daniel doesn’t know how to stay away. perhaps it’s the reason why sua has decided that she likes him, even if he is a little clueless.
she freezes when she hears his voice carry to her. at first, sua remains quiet although she turns to face him, tilting her head enough that her hair falls easily over her shoulder. daniel still talks a lot to fill all the spaces around them even though it’s been months. that much hasn’t changed. " i’ve been busy.“ she finally replies, the tenseness in her shoulders releasing. ” though i guess that’s obvious.“ a sigh escapes her lips when she reaches up to tuck her hair back behind her ear. this time, she’s grateful he hasn’t brought anything up. just dancing.
” you said that you improved the last time, and i’m sure that you remember what i said then, too.“ sua says with her brow raised. ” are you sure you have something good to show me?“
sua really loves to hit her with the hard questions, “mhmm, at first it felt like I was still trainee in a way….like it was so surreal recording music video plus your own song it was very lonely… when I think on it…but when more girls were picked end up doing more even going on variety show as guest. I started to feel like a idol…I think I like the waiting part….it easing us into the world of being idol especially all the workload they put on top of you. It’s exhausting yet you finally feel that doing something worth doing that you know after all this, you will be heard on the radio singing your song and seen by the nation as newly debuted idol. you aren’t just training for the sake of training, there is actually goal at the end-” she didn’t mean to go on tangent but it is really hard to explain what is it like and it wasn’t what she thought she would be.
minhee looks at her friend curiously wondering how it must feel waiting to see whether they get picked or not, she didn’t have to suffer that at all since she was picked first which was nice since she never really picked first in anything. eunji always airs her frustrations about the whole project to her so she wonder whether she felt the same as her dongsaeng. “is it boring waiting around? what is it like wondering whether you get picked or not?? I know some girls are struggling. you’re pretty tough cookie yet everyone has their limits too. just remember I’ll be always around somewhere if you want to chew someone ear off or vent or need adorable distracting puppy~” she spoke in joking tone in last bit shooting some puppy dog eyes and silly aegyo to match.
sua can tell that minhee is having trouble answering the question. it’s a little concerning that she hasn’t said anything and instead resorted to thinking - after all, debut is something that she’s been aiming for over the period of a few years. minhee isn’t like her, all gasoline and willing to strike a match. minhee is sweet, and she seemed to know what she wanted when she joined the project. obviously she wanted to debut, but didn’t have as much faith in herself as sua had in her.
when she finally starts to speak though, sua listens carefully. and she supposes that it really must be strange, considering the fact that they debut and then they’re left to rot until the next girl, and the next girl, until finally their unit is complete. the good thing about it is that 1/3 has finally been fully selected. what sucks about it is that minhee had to feel like a trainee for so much longer before she ended up feeling like what she was: an idol.
there’s nothing really that sua can say about it, though - after all, she doesn’t have the experience, isn’t really sure she has a place to speak on it. and even if she did, she’s sure that what she’d say would just come out more bitter than positive which certainly isn’t what minhee would want to hear. sua sighs when minhee voices concern though, for her - for the other girls, too. for sua, it means nothing to wait. after all, the thing that she really wants is something that she’s waited years for, even before getting signed and far longer still. she snorts and shakes her head. " i guess some of the girls have a harder time than i do.“ sua finally admits, shrugging her shoulders. mainly because it’s something that they desire, struggle for, aim for - becoming a heartz girl is not something that she herself is really so desperate for. ” to tell the truth, i’ve already expected them not to choose me. so i can’t say that i’m too bothered by it one way or the other.“
the summer breeze felt nice at this time of the night, it was late and because autumn was approaching it had started to get darker as well. much to sooyoung’s satisfaction, because it meant she didn’t have to go completely incognito even though she was seated at a bench by the river – the han river looked beautiful at this time, completely peaceful and undisturbed. looking at it made sooyoung feel calm, the last couple of weeks had been a rush.
now she took her time, while waiting for sua to arrive – to just gather her thoughts and feelings over what had happened, what would happen in the future and how her life was slowly but surely changing.
for the better or worse, she didn’t know. only time would tell.
’ah, unnie, ’ she thought to herself, exhaling gently as she looked at her phone to check the time, 9:03PM.
she had been early, after telling their manager that she would go out for a walk with the older female trainee– even if the female was reluctant to let her go, sooyoung made the female feel reassured that she would be more than safe. after having witnessed how protective the older female was of the other girls ( and herself even ), even though she didn’t feel scared or worried– she had thoughts floating around in her head.
( happiness. worry. insecurity… just to mention a few ).
’hurry up and arrive, ’ she continued her train of thought as she leaned her head back on the bench, watching the clouds move on the darkening nightsky.
- starter for @rksuas
the summer nights will slowly give their way to autumn soon. tonight is more comfortable than it has been in a long time; lacking humidity and a cool enough breeze to feel pleasant as she makes her way to the han river. a weekend night should find her keeping time to herself or at the very least, face timing with hyun rather than going out for a walk of all things. but tonight, there’s a reason. sooyoung needed her.
she finds it odd, truthfully. sua isn’t quite sure when they became close enough for the other woman to call her out just to have a chat, but at the same time there’s nothing to complain about. it’s easier this way, having people that she enjoys working with enough that she’d willingly run out to meet them at the drop of a dime.
tucking back a few strands of hair that came loose from her ponytail, sua sighs as she wonders whether or not the manager for heartz even allowed sooyoung to come out like this just to meet one of the trainees. her face puckers into an expression of disgust on her own, but quickly she shakes it off as she comes upon the meeting place the two agreed upon.
it’s barely past nine, and sooyoung is there looking over the rails to the river that lay below. a glance at her watch, and sua’s strides lengthen to reach her that much more quickly. " what did you call me out for?“ she muses, her back resting against the rail that leads to the river below. ” did something happen?“
yuzurk:
yuzu didn’t realize how late it had gotten or how much she had tired herself until she was dead passed out on the practice room floor at some woo hours in the morning. gahyeon and her had decided to head back separately but as she was dozing away, she noted she wouldn’t be surprised if her roommate was in a similar state somewhere in this building.
when a voice disturbed her short power-nap, yuzu’s brows furrowed as she grumbled in protest. turning her head from left to right to try and go back to a sweet slumber it was the sudden image of a big pacman coming right at her which made her eventually dart away. “no pacman- oh… eonni?”
eyes squinting she finally finds the strength to sit up. just vaguely making out the figure of the elder, she rubs at one of her eyes, letting a yawn slip past her lips. “hmm just a lil’.”what a bad lie.
great. now yuzu is hallucinating.
the anger in her boils the venom she’s ready to spit, but yuzu isn’t the one that she wants to bitch at. just seeing any of the girls in a situation like this is enough to make sua clench her fists and burn the entire company down. why hasn’t she yet? why hasn’t she let loose all her fire and fury? aside from being asked not to, she’s afraid that if she does, the other girls will only get it worse.
as much as sua wants to destroy and tear apart sphere brick by fucking brick, especially right now, she won’t be the reason for the coaches to be harder on the other girls. she’ll bide her time for now, she’ll hold her tongue. “ i’m not pacman.” she finally says tightly, kneeling next to yuzu on the floor.
“ don’t lie to me. if you’re seeing things, you’re more than a little tired.” she taps at yuzu’s thigh lightly, not enough to sting but enough for her to realize that it’s time to wake up. “ get up. i’ll drive you home.”
she stares at her reflection until she goes cross eyed; which probably is a recipe for a headache when this is partnered with the blood rushing to her head from laying on the couch with her head hanging upside down from the cushion. she’s thoroughly exhausted although she knows they will need one more run through together before calling it a day. the break helps though. they deserved it.
before she pushes herself to nausea, chungha rights herself on the couch and reaches out for sua. it was for her to come be seated closer to her ( and maybe to come close enough so chungha could cuddle too. ) she smiles at her. “how’re you feeling?” it has been six months. it was a feat. though chungha herself had hitten the low point of feeling continuously beaten for now being chosen, she has since made peace with it. maybe it wasn’t her time. perhaps it wasn’t that she wasn’t good enough: she just didn’t suit the concept they were going for. admittedly, they did start this looking for girls who suited the pure concept and chungha was the farthest thing from it.
but she wasn’t sure how sua had been taking the journey thus far. chungha was a little dazzled by all the new friends upon entering sphere. she hasn’t been a good friend to sua because of this, she knows that, but as long as it seemed like sua managed to keep her head above the water so far. “do you think you have a plan….for all of this i mean….like, how to keep going?” existential. how casual.
chungha had encountered her own hiccup the previous month with choice in performance. she felt like she was running out of material to present before it gets predictable and boring. chungha did not like being predictable. so maybe sua would be able to provide some insight. “you have so many talents. it’s not fair to the rest of us.” chungha pouts at her, softly bunting her forehead against sua’s shoulder. “you probably always have a trick up your sleeve.”
their breaks are short in comparison to the hours on end that they practice to make things perfect. the group performances of the month are just as important as their solo ones, and with a constant shuffling of the girls, whether they’re being introduced or on their way out, there’s always new challenges to face and little quirks to get used to. even during the break, there’s things that sua has learned about the other girls that she probably wouldn’t have if she wasn’t in the project - things like the way chungha lays upside down on the couch, or how many of them there are to avoid stepping on when they’re all sprawled out on the ground. her lips purse a little as she looks around her, but chungha makes a move first - reaches for her, even.
they haven’t spoken in a long time, even within the project. chungha has seemed wrapped up in her own worries and sua decided it best not to press it - especially since she seemed a little more at ease with the newer additions. she sits next to her with a small sigh, her elbows resting back against the back of the couch. how are you feeling - and of course, chungha wouldn’t know. after all, sua doesn’t let onto her emotions as much as the other girls, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking. even now, she shrugs. how should she admit to chungha that she hates this project with every fibre of her being? just the fact alone that eunbi was bullied to the point of fear and tears made her want to rip some of the girls to shreds. " okay, i suppose.“ the words are tight when she speaks them, brows furrowed together. she knows better than to speak her venom in front of the others.
she brushes a hand through her hair, biting the inside of her cheek. ” do you?“ sua finally counters, turning her head to face chungha. after all, she probably wouldn’t be all too bothered if she doesn’t make it into the group. in her mind, there’s nothing for her there except a death of her own spark and the death of her individuality. they’ve already tried to quash it once before, she has no doubt that they’ll be ten times worse if she was actually chosen for a group like heartz.
at the same time though, sua knows that chungha would probably be devastated. ” i think i care more about the girls than anything. i think that’s what keeps me hanging on -“ even though i hate it. ” it’s not good for them, so i want to make sure they’re okay. stupid, isn’t it? they didn’t ask me to.“ sua snorts, taking a look around at some of the dozing trainees around her. ” but even if i’ve only been training for a year, i can tell when someone’s starstruck. i don’t want them to get hurt in the end.“
chungha’s compliment though makes her raise a brow, turn her head to face her. ” i may be talented but i assure you, it’s not a trick. i’m not going to do something radical to pull the rug out from under any of you.“ reaching out, she tucks chungha’s hair back behind her ear. ” i promise.“
it’s been awhile since she’s met with any of the other trainees aside from the girls in heartz. after all, heartz is their own brand of poison, a snake that’s constantly biting them and releasing its venom, refusing to let go. there’s just been too much drama for her and not enough reward: from the beginning, sua knew that heartz would be a warzone. thankfully, it doesn’t seem as if any of the other girls are being bullied as badly as eunbi was; hopefully she did enough to put a stop to it for good when it came to the girls that came after them. but it’s still enough to make her blood curdle that they were in this situation anyway.
for a moment, she wants to escape it.
lunch is really the only place that sua can talk to just about anyone else, though. she sighs as she scans the tables and finds an open seat across from moonbok - perfect enough. she sets her tray down gently on the table, sitting on the chair with a sigh. “ is it all right if i eat lunch with you?” i need a break.
˟ ▀ &. @rkvok
rkheejin:
their reunion isn’t grandiose, isn’t emotionally charged in a way that’d make tears sport from either of their eyes, but for heejin, it’s everything she could’ve hoped for— no matter how she tries, she’s aware of just how hard it is to phase the older woman, to garner unnecessarily big reactions, and that difficulty is something heejin has missed more than words can express ( she feels that sua has always taken her actions in stride with acceptance, offering guidance and care in return ).
heejin isn’t surprised by the others correct deduction, because really, why would she be? it’d be normal for the rest of the girls to be told of any new arrivals, so she’d assumed they’d be expecting at least one new presence. “that i am.” she doesn’t bother beating around the bush, her appearance alone proving as much. hand held in suas, her own fingers squeeze gently, an almost sheepish grin replacing the wide smile she wasn’t aware she’d had. “i’m sorry, kids can be so forgetful sometimes— there’s plenty of time for me to make it up to you, though.”
while she hadn’t been nervous, there’s no denying the overwhelming calm that settles over heejin now that she’s made herself known. entering a new company for the mere chance at debuting would’ve been far more stressful without the presence of someone so dear to her. sua simply being here as well eased concerns she’d been so sure she didn’t have in the first place.
“…did i really surprise you?”
although she doesn’t outwardly show her surprise, the heartache, the lift of her heart, the happiness that heejin has given her just by showing up at her side like this, sua is sure that the younger girl knows. after all, they’re connected in a way that sua can’t quite explain to others that aren’t related to them. it’d be hard to convince anyone that heejin is her daughter, one that she’s certain that she must have given birth to in another life. heejin is hers.
heejin doesn’t need to hear it, because she’s certain that the younger girl can feel it. especially when sua threads their fingers together and tugs the girl closer, keeping her at her side and showing her off to the other people walking in the halls just as she did once before in another life, in another company, in a way that is both protective and flaunting. look at my daughter, but if you touch her you die.
“ you should know better.” she chastises flatly, though there isn’t much anger in it. sphere has been tiresome, more draining than trc ever was in ways that it never could be. at least trc never disappointed her. sphere just keeps doing that, over and over. part of her wishes that heejin just stayed in trc. part of her wishes that she didn’t come because she wouldn’t face the things that sua is. “ i’m not sure how it’s something you just forgot to mention. don’t play with me, i know you laid this plan out this way on purpose.”
but a bigger part of her knows that she needed someone here who understood her. out of all the people she knows, sua couldn’t think of anyone better than heejin. “ .. of course. i thought you’d stay in trc.”
she recognizes this because she’s lived it.
though sua doesn’t really know gahyeon all that well, the only girl she didn’t out of their first batch of new additions, it’s hard not to see the signs. where her moves were once sharp and beautiful, they’ve lost their fine tuning after just a month. she locks herself in a studio and stays there for hours; she seems both desperate to distance herself yet stay included all at the same time. sua remembers what all of this is like, has seen herself on these roads at different parts of her life. she’s even lived some of it in sphere.
girls like gahyeon work too hard for this world that doesn’t reward them. it’s a tragedy that only continues to repeat itself before her very eyes and it almost hurts to watch.
at first, she doesn’t do anything about it. sua observes for a few days after the announcement of the latest girl to heartz’ lineup, knowing well that yuzu and gahyeon joined together. maybe she’s just sad. but when it lasts longer than just a few days, when gahyeon is constantly covering up her tired eyes with a little too much makeup and still doesn’t manage to dance as perfectly as she once did, that’s when sua decides it’s time for her to step in.
she thinks it’s only right that she does. after all, she’s lived it.
waiting until the last of the girls slowly trickle out as they finish practice, one by one until it’s just the two of them left - she knows gahyeon wouldn’t realize it, because she’s locked herself in a studio again. her steps are light but full of purpose as sua stalks to the room that she knows gahyeon is in, pulling open the door and peeking her head in. “ hey. come to my place. let’s get some dinner.”
the tone in which she speaks should probably let gahyeon know that sua won’t be taking no for an answer.
˟ ▀ &.@gahyecnrk
▲ late night warmth (with one or two extras)
m o m e n t s w i t h @rksuas
CONVEX’s comeback is looming closer and closer; Hyun can tell as they get pulled into the recording studio to record their parts, and the practices get longer and longer.
That, and the tell-tale trip to the hair salon in preparation for a new concept.
Nothing really changes much for the Vocal Unit leader, though. He’s sure he’s quite well-known among the fans now for his rotation of ‘natural’ hair colours. Nonetheless, it’s protocol to cover his hair when in public after the salon trip, up until they can reveal any new changes (or lack thereof), and so Hyun is seen donning on a cap to cover as much of his hair as possible, as well as hiding half his face behind a face mask.
It’s almost become routine for him now, whenever he’s out and able in public areas and not working. Ever since January, he’s become wary – of who can be watching, who’s following. If he can, he tries to take a taxi if he’s meeting up with friends, but sometimes he can’t avoid the bus or train. He knows he’s not super famous enough yet to think so highly of himself to be tailed at every turn, but he’d like to try to keep some parts of his life private as much as possible. Although, if he were to truly want privacy, he would be best to finally study towards getting a driver’s licence. Purchasing a car though … that seems a bit far away with his current income. Maybe if he pushed himself harder in the coming months to gain solo schedules, he could afford one.
Nothing overly fancy, no; just something comfortable but nice.
‘It’d be nice if I could drive Sua around for once.’
Hyun thinks this as he asks the taxi driver to drop him off a couple blocks away from his final destination, a shower taken and clothes changed after a long day of practice, but only into a change of clothes that were rather similar to his practice attire earlier. His hair is a little messy, having been quickly dried with a small towel, but he doesn’t think Sua will mind much. Maybe the hat he has on will tidy it up a bit.
[ if i bribe the doorman to let me up again do you think jin or meimei would let me in ~~~~? ]
He sends the text to her as he wanders his way over to the apartment complex, head bowed in the glow of street lights, his gait swaying as he idly plays on his phone. In his bag are hidden some new pet treats, gifts he’s sure will go down well and give him some more scratches up his legs. He’s told his manager he’s going to visit an old work friend for a quick catch up as he misses the pets he used to work with, and knows he can’t stay out too late. “I’ll take full responsibility to wake up on time in the morning for practice, I promise,” Hyun had insisted. “If I don’t, you have full permission to throw cold water on me in the morning!”
things slowly seem to be getting better. sua isn’t the type to expect them to remain that way forever, though.
at the very least, hyun has been spending more and more time with her now that they’re actually able to start seeing each other. these are days that she looks forward to, wishing that practice and the daily grind that supposedly gives the staff reason to choose one of the girls once a month would simply end so she could go home as soon as possible just to see him. after all, hyun’s schedule differs so much from hers now. he can show up to her place earlier and earlier, all the while she’s stuck performing tricks like a circus clown.
by the time the night of practice is over, sua’s walking to her car with a heavy sigh, pulling her phone out of her bag to see a text from hyun waiting. it seems he’s already heading over her place, or there already. she wouldn’t know just by the wording.
˟ . if i give you the code, you can just let yourself in. that would be smarter, wouldn’t it?
it’s something perhaps that she should have done a long time ago, but maybe it’s better late than never. sending the code and climbing behind the wheel, she sends off one final text before she begins the journey back home.
˟ . i’ll be home soon.
HEEJIN …
heejin is nervous, and rightfully so.
while birthdays have always been something to look foreword to, this year brought on hesitance and the smallest vision of doubts— while there was no uncertainty as to whether she would have a good birthday this year ( she was entering her twenties, had a steady group of people around her she felt she could put her trust in, and her future only seemed to be growing brighter ), deep down, there was something she really wanted to happen. something that she had to initiate in order to make happen.
heejin had never been on the timid side, was always the type of person who spoke her mind and told it how it was, but as the hours go by and her birthday is spent, she can’t help how antsy she starts to feel. that sort of anticipation only grows as she and sua enter the older woman’s apartment, heejins grip on her bag firm as to not risk somehow losing the precious bounty inside.
she’d thought long and hard about this, and while she thinks she knows what will happen, she’s still scared. despite that, however, and despite how she’s sure sua has picked up on her mood, she still clears her throat at the apartments entrance, hands nervously digging for the folder she’d had hidden in her desk back home for the last two weeks.
"uh, sua—wait,ma,“ she internally curses her fumble, cheeks burning. taking a second to think, she exhales, slowly pulling out the folder as she speaks, taking out papers she’s practically memorized at this point. she forgoes tact, getting right to the point. “you’ve always done so much for me, and i know asking this of you on my birthday might be cheating but…will you sign these?” she doesn’t say more, simply hoping the words adoption forms printed boldly at the top will give sua all the answers she needs.
˟ ▀ &.@rkheejin
today is heejin’s birthday, and for that fact alone, sua decides to spend a night outside the dorms and in her own home ( her real home ) for a little bonding time and a small celebration. it’d be good for meimei and jin to see heejin, and after the clear instructions she’s left the housekeeper, she’s certain that the house will be tidy with a few decorations of flowers, balloons, and a beautifully lit cake will be waiting for them when they walk in.
she’s wriggling out of her shoes easily at the entrance, feeling much more at ease coming home to her place rather than the dorm room that’s starting to feel all too cramped and messy and sua won’t lie - she is a little excited for heejin’s birthday, after all. this year, she turns twenty. it’s her first day leaving her teens.
heejin, though, doesn’t seem quite right. there’s been an odd sense of quiet rather than excitement for her birthday celebrations that sua’s been stewing over the entire car ride home, wondering if perhaps something happened during her practices that she has to sort out. she figures if heejin doesn’t perk up, she’ll have to ask her about it as she reaches for the door to the foyer, only to be stopped by heejin’s grasping tone and her fumbling voice.
she stops.
her brow knits together at heejin’s little speech, wondering if perhaps this is what was stressing the girl out so much. “ i don’t know what you’re so nervous about.” she muses, opening the door and flicking on the lights so that she can read the wording a little more clearly but when she does, she drops the papers. it’s hard not to look at heejin in incredulity, it’s hard not to feel her heart race and the expression that she’s always so carefully manufactured to look uncaring breaks as her eyes well up with tears.
for her twentieth birthday, heejin wants to be adopted. and not just by anyone, by her. she bends down to quickly gather the papers that fell loose on the floor by her startled realization, being thrown back to days that she’d rather not remember and all the things she’s lost and the desperate, clawing, feral part of her that clung to heejin and allowed her to be a mother all these years. with these papers, she no longer has to pretend; with these papers, heejin will be hers. her daughter. “ are you sure that this is what you want?” sua wipes away a trail of tears with the back of her hand, careful not to get the papers wet with her emotion. “ you’ve really thought it through?”
rkheunji:
“i know, i know but.” eunji dramatically raised her hand and pouted a bit. “a girl likes to spend money, especially when we need a little pick me up.” like once her name hadn’t been announced, she went on a shopping spree. oh it felt great. and whenever she felt down? more shopping. “so! just let me treat you, it’s a treat for me too.”
there was a pleased smile on her face as she watched sua take it. “some people might say i am too much…so we go hand in hand.” eunji shrugged, finally putting down the menu now that she knew what she wanted. “so now you just have to out do me for for my birthday..i-” anything that she was going to say had been cut off by the waiter appearing. “are you two ready to order?”
immediately upon hearing the words pick me up, sua knows what this is about - maybe because she and eunji are a little similar and react to bad things in similar ways. sua used to be a lot more self destructive, but now her coping mechanisms involve spending money. she can only guess at why eunji was feeling this way. “ are you upset that you’re not the girl of the month?” sua finally asks, feeling a little awkward - because she was chosen. “ you can be upfront with me. i’m not going to be upset.”
after all, she was already feeling quite guilty for the selection. but eunji doesn’t seem particularly fazed about it right now - sua still wants to know. she gives the waiter her order quickly and waits for them to go away, eyes staring at eunji with a mild expression. “ i don’t mind outdoing you for your birthday. but i still want to know what you’re feeling.”
ft.@rksuas
her first heartzgroup evaluation doesn’t seem too difficult for her. at least, if she focuses on herself.with the fact that it was news by k.arma, a.k.a one of the bestest girl groups ever,mina already was confident in herself for getting the choreo down. with the fact that she only had to rap a few lines, she was confident that she had this evaluation in the bag.because on her own, kang mina could get through this.
but it was a groupevaluation. and yes, though mina was at least acquainted with majority of the group, being friends with halfof them, she still was intimidated by all of them. maybe chungha and yurim a litle less, given one is her roommate and the other is practically her equal in sphere. she’s managed to reach out to the people sheknows at least a little bit more in order to help her out with the evaluation. but there was still some people she needed to go to for aid. specifically, someone she knewthat could give her helpful advice.
while mina has not really talked to the other, she knewfrom second-hand experience (her brother on the same season of the mgas with her) that sua knewwhat she was talking about when it came to dancing. and yes,while mina is very much sure that she’s a better dancer than daniel, sua isher senior for a reason. and yes,while she admit that the aura the other gives is strong, she couldn’t help but be amazed by it. even watching her onscreen, all she could think about was how coolshe was.
so, she uses all the courage she can to approach her in the practice room. “sunbaenim,” she says with a small smile. she’s aware she seems a little timid, but she couldn’t really help it. “could you help give me some tips on my dancing?” should she give an explanation. “it’s just that- i know you’re a really talented dancer and i want to make sure i do well for my first evaluation. so…”
the new sphere girls being introduced into the project later than the rest upon only the skills presented in their audition seems to have ruffled some feathers if what sua is hearing whispered on the grape vine is true. it’s a good thing that she set the idiots who messed with eunbi straight before they arrived, otherwise she might have had to have another stern talking to with them and this time, she probably would have been about ten times more cruel and scared more than just yoojung with her cold behaviour.
in saying that though, she still hasn’t managed to greet or talk to them very much. after all, the month is hard and they’re all just trying to survive a war that sphere is putting them through - something she doesn’t even want to experience, but here she is fighting the quote unquote “ good fight ”. sua sighs a little as she practices through working on the choreography for the chosen song of the month; although it’s not a song that she enjoys at the very least, she’s the type to always put in the work.
the practice room is quiet as she works - aside from the notes of the song playing from the speakers in the corner. she’s far too focused to really notice one of the newer girls approaching her, keeping a close watch on her movements to be sure there’s nothing unnecessary or inelegant about her dance. even if it’s not a choreography that really suits her tastes, sua at the very least wants to dance it properly. she’s a dancer, after all. it’d make a mockery of the art form if she were to be lazy just because she didn’t like it.
she stops though when a turn leads her face to face with mina. even the way her body ceases to move is graceful in itself, and sua blinks slowly at the girl who seems slightly timid even approaching her. maybe it’s because she was dancing? then again, it’s not like sua doesn’t know how hard it is to approach her at times. the request though, comes as a bit of a surprise - its not like sua didn’t know that mina knew some of the others right off the bat. if anyone, she was sure that the girl would probably ask chungha before her. " … i can.“ sua finally replies, running her fingers through her hair and pushing it back into place now that she’s decided to stop practicing for a moment. ” though i have to see you dance first.“
rkheejin:
there’s silence for a moment, heejin keeping mum, simply letting the older comb fingers through her hair, and already heejin can feel herself growing tired. it’s so easy to forget just how tired she can sometimes get when she spends her days constantly trying to show her best— it’s been that way for her for a long time, and while she’d never admit it, there are times when everything comes somewhat close to a breaking point. she’s a strong girl, she knows she is, but even someone like her has moment where she needs comfort ( regardless of whether she’d admit it or not ).
when sua pulls away, heejin feels embarrassment at how easy it is for sua to understand her. it’s not bad, she quiet likes that the older has that ability, but it’s only natural since not many are able to do that with her. “i just missed being here, ok…” she’s slightly pouty, eyes wide.
making her way towards the bath, heejins pout grows a small bit, and while the older can’t see it heejin is sure she can hear it in her voice. “i’ve gotten better! i’ve been trying to snack less so i can get into a more regular eating schedule, this is the first time i’ve forgotten in a while,” she tries to sound convincing because, while it’s not a lie that she’s been trying, she can’t admit this isn’t her first slip up this week alone. “i’m surprised jin hasn’t tried to barrel his way over here yet.”
heejin is the love of her life in a way that sua can’t quite explain. sometimes she wonders if perhaps she really was her mother in a past life and they found their way back to each other in this one. all that she knows is that when sua needed her the most, when she was suffering from guilt from things that she’d never say aloud, heejin filled a void in her that she lost. although the love they share is that of family, even if sua didn’t really give birth to the girl - sometimes, it just feels like she almost did. or could have, even. sitting here like this, brushing heejin’s hair through her fingers to try and comfort her stresses is simply one of those times that sua realizes she’d burn the world if anything ever happened to her girl.
her girl. her baby.
maybe no one else will understand, but sua doesn’t need them to. as long as heejin is at her side, then sua will find herself content.
it’s why her smile comes easier for heejin than it does for anyone else. " are you embarrassed about it?“ sua asks, brushing down the flyaways in heejin’s hair gently. ” don’t look at me like that. you could have come anytime you wanted to.“
sua shakes her head disapprovingly. although she can’t say that she’s much better than heejin - in fact, most people would say she’s infinitely worse - it’s more important to her that heejin at least eats properly. training isn’t easy, and training while being in a competitive debut process is even harder. ” i’ll order something. start eating better.“ she says chidingly, searching through her bag on the counter to find her phone. ” if you want to see him, jin is probably in his room. it’s late, he’s probably just sleeping.“ she pauses. ” and meimei will take a bath with you if you put her in her boat.“
